TEN-8

Hopeful

2012-01-17T12:24:00.001-06:00

I make no secret of the fact that I am not happy at my current job. To be candid, it sucks. Each morning when I get to work, I ask my supervisor ("Am I fired yet?"). Hearing that my services are still required there is depressing to say the very least.

This morning I had a interview for what I am hoping will not just be my next job, but my last career. I think it went well, although the interviewer had an amazing poker face. At the conclusion, I was told that if selected the remaining process would be lengthy and slow. Sigh.

Mean while, many other applicants will be interviewed and I get to wait and contemplate how I measure up. There are seventy-one applicants all together. Sigh.

Until I hear something, I remain employed at a job I hate.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

What Goes Around...

2011-12-09T22:29:00.001-06:00

Greetings Readers.
I realize I may be beating a dead horse here, but Karma has once again shown itself and I think its worth mentioning.

A little over a year ago I worked for a Sheriffs Office in a small midwestern town. The agency employed 20 full time deputies, staff, and a handful of reserve deputies.

I loved my job there. The agency had its quirks as most do, and not everyone got along, but the work was rewarding.

I believed in the spirit of the law and tried hard to live according to the code of ethics. My performance record reflected professionalism, dedication, competence, and loyalty.

On many occasions I was aware that the administration ignored or changed its own policies to favor or protect employees that behaved in manners unbecoming of the law enforcement profession. I attributed this to a few factors. Not the least of which was that the "Good old boy" system was prevalent there. One significant incident occurred that effected me personally and profoundly. To such a degree that I felt I had to make a stand against the administration. My intention was just, but I'll admit that execution was sloppy.

The administration went after me hard and that was pretty much the end for me there. My coworkers were told that was not to be spoken to. My supervisor watched idly by as my reputation was trashed and said nothing in my defense. My friends in the agency (for their own survival) turned their backs and did nothing.

Long story short, I was allowed to resign. I moved. Life goes on.

I recently spoke with an old friend and colleague there who told me that in recent months there had been quite a shakeup within the agency. Most relative to this posting, my old supervisor was involved in an incident that in spite of his extensive law enforcement knowledge and obvious competence, cost him his career.

Like me, he was allowed to resign. But ultimately, with no support from agency friends or staff he faced the fact that it was a fight he could not win.

I have to wonder now if I crossed his mind when doors were being shut in his face. Was he struck by a sense of irony when his supervisor failed to fight for him?

I am not gloating. I believe in my heart that the department lost one of its most knowledgeable and proficient leaders. Regardless of his character flaws I acknowledge his ability.

Being thrown under the bus is no fun. The view sucks. And like the old saying goes...

Karma is a bitch.

Until next time...thanks for reading.

Mutant HairMutant Hair

2011-08-14T22:55:00.003-05:00

I've never been one of those guys who obsesses about my appearance. As a rule I am well groomed, clean, and hygienic. Not vain, but at 45 years old, not unpleased with my overall physical appearance. All things considered I have weathered the years fairly well.

I am aware however, of physical changes that come with being a man of my age. Not the aches and pains, or even the wrinkles. Those are things I expect and accept. What drives me crazy is hair growth.

As a young boy I was fascinated by my grandfather's eyebrows. Ungroomed doesn't really describe them. They were out of control. Random hairs extending far from the nest like crawling ivy on the face of an ancient statue. I wondered when they took on a life of their own, because I had seen many pictures of him with "normal" brows. I can now figure that it was sometime in his early to mid forties.

A few years ago, my son began teasing me about my ear hair. Upon looking in the mirror to see what he found so amusing I was astonished to see that I did have entirely too much. I thought to myself, "Damn, when did that happen?" " That is a lot of fucking ear hair!" So off I went to buy one of those handy all-in-one grooming tools with an attachment specifically designed to knock back the ear forest. It worked well and I was pleased that my ears had been restored to a youthful appearance. In the months that followed however, I was a little disheartened that I had to use it so frequently.

Then one morning about a year ago, as I was shaving I became aware of hair growing on my right ear. Not inside my ear mind you, but growing straight out of the top.

No big deal you might say. Well you didn't see it. And to merely call it a hair falls way short of an adequate description. First of all it was jet black and as thick as a piece of wire and no less than a full inch tall. I say tall because it pointed straight up. I stared at it in disbelief for minutes, wondering how long it had been there, and why I hadn't noticed it earlier. I thought of all the people I had been in contact with recently and wondered how many were just too polite to say anything about it much less give in to laughter.

Breaking free of my trance, I grabbed the tweezer and gripped hairzilla just above the root and gave a good tug. To my horror it fought to remain affixed and my entire ear stretched upward! Realizing this was no ordinary follicle I changed tactics. This time gripping at the top and coiling the strand around the tweezer. Once securely held, I snapped upward, certain that this method would extract the hair...root and all. I was wrong. It slid through the tweezers grip like a piece
of ribbon. The result was a tightly curled, thick black, hair, perched atop my ear like a burned curly fry.
Time to break out the big guns.

In the end, the hair, as mighty a it was, proved no match for my trusty grooming tool. Victory was mine. I finished shaving and closely examined myself and left the bathroom satisfied that I found no other mutant growths. Again, at the end of the day I looked closely in the mirror and was relieved that all was as it should be.

More about Karma

2011-07-16T17:34:00.000-05:00

Whatever your beliefs may be it's had to deny that there often seems to be a relationship between what we have done and what happens to us. At times it can be amusing and at others, profound. And sometimes it's just damn disturbing.

When I was young I dismissed unfortunate events in my life as bad luck. I never stopped to think that I was observing some kind of universal physics at work. What went around coming back around. An equal and opposite reaction to something I had done.

Later in life I began connecting the dots and noticed a pattern that concerns me. I've done things I would rather not have come back to me.
Some minor, others not so minor. Some things were non personal in nature while others were very personal.

It has also been my experience that bad karma is like a savings account, in that it always seems to earn interest. , so with that in mind, if my karma theory holds water then a shit storm is heading my way.

I try not to think about specifics, but honestly, it's difficult not to. Especially when I look back at little things that have already come full circle. Take for example an episode that I now refer to as "The pain in the ass"

Many years ago I found amusement that Tim, my roommate in the barracks was suffering a painful hemorrhoid flare up. Having never been afflicted myself it was easy to laugh at his discomfort. This guy was in such misery that he couldn't function. Sitting, standing, walking, coughing, all caused pain. The agony caused by taking a dump was trumped only by that of wiping his ass. I know this because I can still clearly recall his face as he came out of the bathroom. He actually had tears in his eyes and sweat on his brow. He described to me rather graphically how before wiping, he had to push the roid back into aas to minimize abrasion. I laughed so hard that I nearly pissed my pants. Tim, not amused, simply said this.
"Motherfucker, I have prayed to God to deliver unto you a roid the size of my fist". "You insensitive piece of shit!".

Fast forward seven years.

I was deployed to Bosnia and spent most of my time there riding shotgun on motorized patrols. It was during one of these patrols that I noticed the first symptoms but because I had no frame of reference failed to realize what was happening. Nor did I have clue that soon, my asshole would completely take over my life.

I had eaten something the night before that disagreed with my stomach and an unscheduled stop had to made so I could squat in a hedge row to crap. I actually had to go so bad that I almost didn't get my pants down fast enough. After a few minutes of shitting violently I could feel my sphincter involuntarily pulsing. There was also a stinging sensation not unlike the day after really spicey mexican food. And then, as if someone had substituted coarse sandpaper for toilet paper, I winced in pain. At that moment my old buddy Tim popped into my mind. "Fuck me running!" "I'm getting a goddamned hemorrhoid!"

Being assigned to such a remote area I couldn't even go buy a tube of Preparation H, and I was too embarrassed to go see the medic. As a result, within a few days I had a fully engorged, throbbing, and enormous growth protruding from my ass. The presence of which made sitting impossible. The damn thing was the size of pecan. I know this for two reasons. First because out of morbid curiosity I felt it and thought to myself "self, the damn thing is the size of a pecan!" Second because when the throbbing pain radiating down my legs started to make walking problematic I broke down, swallowed my pride, and went to see the medic. I was instructed to drop my pants and bend over the exam table. Upon ceremoniously donning latex gloves and parting my ass cheeks, the medic exclaimed "Jesus Christ, that is the biggest fucking hemorrhoid I've ever seen!" "It's the size of a fucking pecan!"
"Dude, the P.A is gonna have to see you cause that puppy requires surgery."

Note: Regardless of what you may have heard about child birth, I doubt seriously it could be as painful as having a needle shoved into the inner rim of your anus. I personally would rather be set on fire.

Yes. The procedure required a local anesthetic. Three injections to be precise, in an area that I can now confirm is connected to every nerve ending in the body. The searing shock as the needle penetrated, constricted my vocal chords, making it impossible to scream like a little bitch. I was blinded by the pain. Between injections I was given a moment to brace myself, but no amount of mental prep eases such epic shock.

Between the second and third injections, through ragged breaths, I begged the P.A to forget about the hemorrhoid and kill me instead. The third injection felt as if it entered through my eyeball, pierced my brain and spontaneously ignited my spine. Only after my toenails exploded was the harpoon removed from my rectum.

Fifteen minutes was allotted to allow the local to take effect. It is my educated opinion that this was either not long enough, or I had not been given enough to sufficiently numb the area. I'm also certain that scalple had been sharpened on a coarse rock. Fortunately, the wieght of three medics holding me down allowed the P.A to saw through the engorged membrane. I could feel every microscopic bur on the blade as it ripped through my flesh until finally there was a discernable pop. With the pop there was instant relief. All pain was gone!

There was of coarse post operative discomfort, but healthy doses of narcotics made the recovery tolerable.

Was this ordeal Karma or just bad luck? As I said from the beginning, it depends on your beliefs. But for me, having observed a pattern in which I more and more frequently have experiences that at a minimum, remind me of things I have done or said, am left with little doubt that I am being served with some kind of cosmic justice. Laughing at Tim's hemmorhoid was a small thing, but the price of my laughter was high.

I have done far worse things than laugh at people.

I shudder to think about how I might pay for other transgressions. I just hope that my next brush with consequence is less physical and more symbolic, or at the very least, that whatever cosmic forces are at work in my life see to it that my ass is left out of the lesson.

This is really too much

2011-04-30T14:40:00.000-05:00

A freind forwarded this article from BBC news to me today.
.

Superman 'may end US citizenship', says Action Comics
Superman was introduced in 1938 and has a long association with the US Superman intends to give up his US citizenship, a story in the new issue of Action Comics declares.

"I'm tired of having my actions construed as instruments of US policy," the character says in a story that sees him flying to a Tehran protest.

Adopted by an American family, Superman decides he is better-off serving the world.

Though he only talks about his plans to give up citizenship, the story has been criticised by commentators worldwide.

The superhero, originally from the fictional planet Krypton, does not clearly renounce his citizenship in the issue.

Action Comics co-publishers Jim Lee and Dan DiDio said: "Superman announces his intention to put a global focus on his never ending battle, but he remains, as always, committed to his adopted home and his roots as a Kansas farm boy from Smallville."

The disputed story sees the hero standing silently at the protest, wanting to show demonstrators that they are not alone.

Superman's announcement comes after accusations from Iran's government that he has caused an international incident, in the nine-page story written by David Goyer.

"'Truth, justice and the American way' - it's not enough anymore," Superman says, "The world is too small, too connected."

I am disgusted that Action comics has become so left as to shame the man of steel. The co creators of this great American icon would be so ashamed

Miscelaneous update.

2011-01-16T17:29:00.004-06:00

I am not sure if my experiences over these last several months should be considered drama, or trauma. A great deal of change has taken place and those changes are ongoing.

I am still actively seeking more suitable employment, as this interim job almost seems to be costing me more than it is making me. If it were not for my family here I would be suffering a much worse fate.

I'll be turning 45 in a few months, and with that in mind am considering letting go of my law enforcement asperations. It was a job that I enjoyed and there are elements of it I will deeply miss, but maybe its time to consider other options. My goal at the end of the day is to be able to take care of my family and I dont need a badge to do that.

In the few years I was a Deputy I learned a shocking truth. Bad cops outnumber good cops by a considerable margin. Loyalty, integrity, and morality are more like catch phrases than watch words.

I worked for administrators that would alter policy to award the guilty and punish the innocent. I had supervisor that would brag to me on one day about the women he screwed while away at training. And the next day he would speak to me with conviction about trust. The same supervisor furnished one of my promotion competitors with the answers to the written promotion test while telling me that he could not, in good conscience, help me study, out of fairness to others.
I could go on, but what's the point?

It was filthy little agency, in a nasty little town, and I am now far away from it.

A normal job with normal hours and the possibility of quality time with family is very appealing now and maybe that will be possible soon. Who knows, we may even get to enjoy a social life.

As far as being a cop again is concerned, I suppose that if I am offered one of the positions I have already applied for, I'll give it a go, but I'm finished applying.

With that having been said, the future of this blog is uncertain. With the possibility of law enforcement being behind me I may have to retitle and relocate. We shall see.

I'm out for now. As always...thanks for reading.

By the way. I just got this new tattoo and thought I would share it. Aaron, at Prestige Body Art did an awesome job on this and I couldn't be happier with the work.

A Series of Moments

2010-09-28T16:30:00.003-05:00

You may have gathered from my last few posts,that life has thrown me a few curves recently. Among the most significant eventsm I resigned from my law enforcement job and moved to my hometown after nearly three decades.

My resignation was actually more of a long term plan, but events at my agency made it clear that it was no longer for the place for me. Let's just say that I would rather work someplace where ethical standards are not adjusted on a regular basis to protect employees who refuse to behave ethically.

In any event, here I am. After almost 30 years I am back in my hometown, mooching off of loved ones and trying to get established.

It is not the way I had envisioned my life at this point, but things seldom turn out the way we plan them.

I often tell my son that life is just a series of moments. Most are either uneventful or just plain rotten. Very few are truly great. That is why when we experience those rare great times, they are valued so much. As for the rest of time, just learn from your day to challenges. Allow your hardships to build your strength of character, and keep your eyes and your heart open to receive those rare but wonderful moments.

As always, I will try to keep this as up to date as possible. Thanks for reading

Not on any Memorial...yet

2010-09-06T07:27:00.000-05:00

I am temporarily out of service but hope to be working and writing again soon.

Better Late than Never

2010-06-01T11:45:00.004-05:00

With the passing of the Memorial Day weekend I am pleased to report that from a law enforcement perspective, it was unusally uneventful. That is due in part to torential rain Sunday night.

The only incident worth mentioning occured Friday night, and as it would happen, I arrived too late. The call came out as a disturbance in progress at one of two small watering holes in a township in the northern part of the county. An intoxicated male subject was trying to provoke soldiers and verterans into a fight with disparaging comments about the military.

Perhaps karma's hand played a part, but a high volume of traffic made it difficult to respond as quickly as would normal in such cases. Once I arrived at the bar, the antagonist had already fled. Wittnesses reported that he got the fight he was looking for, and came out on the losing side.

Had I gotten there a few minutes sooner I would have had to prevent the aforementioned fight.
As a Deputy, I remind myself that right or wrong everyone is entitled to equal protection under the law. But in the wake of this particular incident, I feel that the justice required was dispensed by the people who rightfully deserved to dispense it. I am also fairly certain that next year, our young antagonist will exercise better judgement.

Fellow veterans, for us and those like us, every day is Memorial Day. A day seldom passes that I don't think of the soldiers serving abroad today or the unfortunate service members that made the ultimate sacrifice in the service of our country. From the bottommof my heart, thank you all.

For those of you that displayed your American pride this weekend and honored service members of yesterday and today. Thank you for your support. This is the greatest nation on earth and serving her was my greatest honor and privelage.

God Bless America!!!

" The old vicious dog call"

2010-04-26T07:22:00.005-05:00

As a deputy it is not uncommon to respond to various animal complaints. One of the most popular is the vicious dog (almost always a Pitt Bull or Rottweiler) call. In most cases I arrive to find a Beagle with cataracts or a three legged Border Collie.

Yesterday evening I was dispatched to such a call. Apparently a vicious Rottweiler was on a woman's property and tried to attack her dog. The scene as arrived was sort of funny. There were two cars, caddy corner from one another, at the intersection of two dirt roads. The occupants of the vehicles were pointing frantically at the middle of the intersection, where sat an exceptionally large Rottweiler. One woman was yelling for me to shot the dog, while someone else was yelling for me to stay in car until backup arrives.

Two things struck me as amusing. First, that the dog appeared to know exactly what he was doing. If I did not know better I would have described his demeanor as smug. Secondly, that it was the first one of these calls I have answered in which the breed was as it was reported.

Something you should know about me is that I love dogs. And for as long as I can remember, I have never met one that did not like me.

With that in mind, I parked a short distance from the animal and exited my vehicle. I walked within a few meters of him, who was now watching me intently, and squatted down. I extended my hand and said cheerfully, "come here big fella". He rose to his feet, approached, sniffed, and sniffed some more. Comfortable now that I was not being mauled, I issued a few basic commands, all of which he obeyed without delay. I praised him enthusiastically, scratching behind the ears until he flopped over on his back to get a good tummy rub. A short time later he was sitting in the back of my patrol car. I should note here that I estimated the dogs weight at around 125 or better.

Once secured I spoke with the occupants of the cars. The frantic woman demanding gunfire turned out to be the caller, who explained to me that the dog had been in her yard and trued to attack her poodle. She went to describe her heroics as she got between the two animals and chased the giant man eater away with a stick. At the end of her rant I politely explained that I understood her desire to protect her pet, but that she placed herself in great danger by getting between thew two. She firmly stated that the next time she would just shoot it as I should have done when I arrived. I explained that from what I observed, he no longer appeared to be a threat. I explained that I would file the appropriate animal complaint as soon as I transported the dog to the animal shelter. She then asked if the dog was going to be "put down". I explained that we have a "no kill" shelter, and that with his gentle demeanor and good looks, he would probably be adopted in a short time. I could tell by the look on her face that she was not satisfied with the answer. I asked if there was anything else I could help her with, to which she merely shook her head in disgust. I bid her a good day and departed the area. I should have known that this case was not closed.

After getting my new friend settled in at the local shelter I got on the radio and reported that I was once again available for calls (10-8). The next radio traffic was my supervisor, asking me to come back to the station to discuss my latest citizens complaint. Apparently, I was very disrespectful to the caller, and did not take her report seriously. She also made it clear that the way I handled the dog was completely inappropriate considering the dangerous nature of the animal.

Once I explained the entire scenario to the boss, he assured me that the complaint against me would be unfounded, but stressed that I detail everything in my report.

As I left the station I reflected on the event and have come to the conclusion that the woman was probably a little embarrassed. I had arrived and essentially made her look foolish. I can't say for sure whether her claim that the dog was on her property was true or not. Or if it had tried to attack her poodle. I am fairly certain that if the big dog intended to eat her pet, it would have done so, just as it probably would have made short work of her and her stick. All I know is that during my interaction, the dog never demonstrated any threatening behavior. Even at the shelter, with dozens of other dogs barking as I walked him past their cages, he never once behaved aggressively. Come to think of it, he never even glanced at any of the other dogs.

Things that make you go,"hmmm?"

When you just know it's time to go

2010-04-21T17:21:00.004-05:00

Believe it or not this was just going to be a comment on "Beat and Release", who, just for the record does not follow my blog. His post on "innocent victims" made me think about why I serve.

After serving 21 years in the army I would have been content to accept my plaque and walk away quietly with my wife on my arm. Unit policy required me to attend a ceremony.

Many things changed for me during the course of my career, but the constant was the support I got from my loved ones, and my love for this amazing country.

On my final day, I still held to the belief that America is the greatest nation on earth and that my service in upholding her values was not only noble and courageous, but necessary. Present at my retirement ceremony were my two greatest roll models. My dad...and the best platoon sergeant and young soldier ever could have had. When I was at risk of losing my way I could look to them for strength, and my path would be righted.

I am not foolish enough to think that Red, White and Blue make everything perfect. We have our share of problems to be sure. But on a global scale, we are the paramount defense against the spread terror and evil.

I do not sit around dreaming about my glory days as a young Infantryman, but I am proud of them. Being a soldier, like all things, had it's time, and that time had run it's course. In the end, I just knew it was time to let go. I seldom look back, but would not dream of erasing any of it. Without it, I would not not be who I am today.

Police work is my second career. Not unlike military service it requires a strong belief in ideals and principals that few people can sustain over the long term. It requires a strength of character that is rare, especially in today's society. Constant exposure to the darker side of society is often like swimming against the tide. It is only natural that from time to time even the most dedicated and noble cops will question why they fight the fight. And it is just as natural, that when the time comes to let it go, we just know it.

Why it ends is different for each of us, as is the way we deal with the absence of the service that has essentially been our lives. How we deal with the loss is important to be sure, but in my opinion, not nearly as important as how we served.

To " Beat and Release" I can say only this:
Through your blog it is obvious that even now, nearing the end of your career, you still have a passion for your work. Your accounts are not only entertaining, but educational. They are part of your legacy and have value. Like all of your other notes, they should be archived for future reference, and made available to those they might inspire.

Thanks you for your noble and courageous service.

Okay...so it's cheap...but I'll take it.

2010-04-17T09:03:00.003-05:00

Last night I was that guy everyone called for backup. Called for equipment. Called to babysit cars until they were towed away to the impound. Every time I made it to a location that I was certain would get me an arrest, another call for someone elses miscellaneous bullshit. Sure there are nights in the county when there just isn't shit to be found. But it should never be that way on a Friday night, during a payday weekend. By the wee hours I had resolved myself to the fact that it just wasn't in the cards. And then.....

At around 3:00 a.m this morning I was on routine patrol, driving along a county highway when I observed a car with its lights off, sitting a stop sign. As I passed it, it looked as if there was no one in the drivers seat. I flipped around to get a better look and saw that the driver was slumped forward against the steering wheel. I positioned my car behind the subjects vehicle and ran the tag. After getting a return from the dispatcher I got out of my and approached the drivers side of the car.

As I approached I noticed a few things. First, that the window was lowered about a third of the way down.Second, there was what appeared to be the remnants of a vomit trail that ran down the window, continued down the door, and made a good sized puddle on the pavement next to car. And third, that the man behind the wheel was still totally unaware of my presence. I stood just behind the door and announced myself, but got no reaction. I then tapped on the window with my flashlight....still nothing. Finally, with the palm of my hand I slapped the roof of the car a few times, which startled the man awake. I announced myself again and asked the man if he was okay. Clearly disoriented and confused, the man behind the wheel surveyed the area, both inside and outside of his car, and finally looked up at me with an expression that spoke volumes. This fellow had no idea where he was or how he had go there. I asked again if he was okay, to which he responded, "I think so." My next question was simply, "Did you drive here sir?" His response was simply, "Yes sir." SCORE! Other questions were asked. In a nutshell, he did not know where he had been, who he had been with, where he was, how he arrived there, or where he was going.
On his wrist I observed an armband that I recognized from one of the local saloons. Green, with a Bud Light Lime logo on it. I asked the man if he had been out "clubbing" to which he informed he did not do. So I asked him where he acquired the armband. For a moment he simply stared at the thing on his wrist, and then with a sigh he said, "damn, I must have been "clubbing last night".

I asked him for his license and insurance and after handing me every card in his wallet he finally managed to locate his license. Our agency prefers that during field sobriety testing, another officer is present, so after getting the return on the license, I called for another unit and waited for it to arrive. Once my backup had arrived, I quickly explained the situation and returned to the subjects car. I asked him to get out of the car, and after fumbling with the handle for a few seconds, he managed to get the door open. Now if this had been me, what happened next would have produced some colorful adjectives.

Too drunk to notice or care, the man stepped out of his car and into the aforementioned puddle of vomit. I have seen people stand in their own puke before and it's no big deal. This guy however, was only wearing socks. When I asked him where his shoes were he turned back to car and stared inside for a few seconds, during which time I shined my light throughout the vehicle. I saw a pair of shoes behind the passenger seat and advised the man of their location. None too gracefully he retrieved the shoes, at which time we both moved to the rear of his car. Lacking the balance needed to put them on standing up, he sat down on the pavement to put them on. It was soon obvious that these were not his shoes, as they were a few sizes too small.

Once he was on his feet again I explained that I required him to submit to field sobriety testing. It will have to suffice to say that he performed poorly. A few glances at my backup officer made it difficult not to laugh out loud, but I managed to stifle it behind a few well timed coughs. The preliminary breath test measured .197. Not too shabby. Additional testing at the station, on the Intoxylizer measured .184.

So there you have it. I booked him on the DUI and there he sits, pending bond.

There are some who would say (and have said) that this was a bullshit DUI. To them I say, "True. But it is my bullshit DUI." Of course I know it's cheap, but I'll take it anyway.

As always, until next time, thanks for reading

One Drunk. Six Charges

2010-04-13T19:23:00.006-05:00

As a rule I try to stay away from the city, but every so often I am asked to assist with something or another. A few nights ago was such an occasion. A BOLO for a particularly unsavory character required an increased law enforcement presence in the city so I answered the call. The wanted felon was not located, but my excursion into the concrete jungle was not totally unproductive.

Just before midnight I was patrolling one of the main arteries when right in front of me this clown blows a stop sign at a high rate of speed. Had I been going a few miles per hour faster, I would have been in the middle of the intersection in time to get t-boned by the speeding car.

I made a quick left, turned on the red and blues and pursued the vehicle through a second intersection. Within a few blocks it dawned on the driver that the flashing lights and wailing siren were meant for him.

I was not surprised when the dispatcher told me that the registration had expired. It was also no shock that the registered owner had a non-extraditable warrant from another state. In this case, it was not the driver.

I cautiously approached the car, and before reaching the driver's door the overwhelming odor of stale beer hit me. Before even completing my introduction and explanation, the driver cut me and exclaimed, " Yeah yeah, I know what I did wrong!" From experience I have learned to allow these outbursts to continue, as they frequently help build strong cases. This was no exception. I deviated from my usual dialogue and asked the guy what it was he thought he did wrong. With a broad smile he he practically sang, "I was drinking and driving!" Score! My reply was simply, " Among other things." I then fully explained the reason for stop and asked asked the man for the usual documentation. In this case, all I got was a state issued ID card. I returned to my vehicle, requested the necessary checks through dispatch, and was informed that subject was suspended for failure to submit to chemical testing in a similar set of circumstances. There were also numerous non-extraditable warrants from another state. The dispatch also warned me that the subject had a history of resisting and being confrontational with law enforcement. I requested backup and waiting until it arrived before approaching the vehicle a second time.

As it turned out, the remainder of the stop was actually simple enough. Of course it's never fun, even with rubber gloves on, to pat down someone that has urinated all over them self. The subject was compliant and actually submitted to the Standardized Field Sobriety Tests. At times he was so animated in his lack of coordination that one might have believed he was acting. As he did in the previous case, he refused the preliminary breath test, and once at the station, refused the intox. He continued however to be polite and cooperative all the way through the booking process at the jail.

All said and done... He was charged with DUI(2nd offense), Driving while suspended, expired registration, Failure to stop at a stop sign, Transporting an open container, and Refusal to submit to chemical tests.

This was a decent stop to round out the night. As with all my DUI arrests, I was happy to get a drunk person off the road. I was also grateful for the big guys cooperation. I scuffle with him would have required a fairly significant level of force.

I have enjoyed a few nights off and tonight I return to work. I will spend my day mentally preparing myself fo my 12 hour tour of duty, and wondering what kind of interesting characters I will encounter.

Until next time.....Thanks for reading.

Dude...Seriously?

2010-04-10T00:11:00.003-05:00

A few nights ago I was cruising along on a quiet county highway hoping that the second half of my shift was as peaceful as the first. Traffic was non existent up to now and then on the horizon I saw approaching headlights.

As the distance between the approaching and mine closed I began to wonder if the driver was going to dim their high beams. When it became obvious that it wasn't going to happen I gave a courteous flash but it was a useless gesture. After a few more flashes the high beams continued to blind me. As the car passed I considered turning around and issuing a citation, but honestly was just not feeling that ambitious. Then, in my rear view, no tag lights. At this point I felt I should probably make the stop but did not commit to it until I checked the cars speed on my rear radar. Twenty under the posted limit.

Turned around and all caught up I observed the vehicle cross the center and edge lines twice each and activated the lights and siren. Upon making contact with the young driver, and running his license, it turned out that the driver had a warrant. Search incident to arrest produced a few more things, among them, illegal registration.

On the way to the Jail, I became aware of the odor of an alcoholic intoxicant. I asked the young man how much he had to drink, to which he honestly answered, " nothing at all, I am under twenty-one and don't drink." So I asked, "Then you wouldn't have a problem taking some field sobriety tests when we get to the jail, would you?" The young man agreed to the tests which he failed. A preliminary breath test showed a breath alcohol content well above the legal limit. Further tests lead to a DUI charge.

So when all was said and done, I had arrested the kid on the warrant and pulled another case for DUI, Failure to dim high beams, no tag lights, illegal registration, and Minor in possession of alcohol. Early the following morning he had his first appearance in court and was released. A court date was set for later in the month. During the arrest for DUI, I seized the the kids license
and according to policy sent it the driver control bureau.

Now here is the problem with being a cop in a small community. Although I had never met the kid, he lives in my neighborhood. And yes, he not only knew where I live, but knocked on my door to asked for my help in the matter of getting his license back. He had his boss with him, who explained that this was a good kid and that he worked very hard for him. He went on to explain that the kid was required to drive as part of his job. I apologized for his misfortune, suggested that accompany the boy to court and perhaps prepare a statement for the judge to that effect. I then explained that in the future it would be unwise to knock on the door of the cop that had just arrested you.

In this county, the judge that handles these cases is not likely to cut the kid any slack. And why should he. Statute dictates here that DUI under twenty-one is an automatic one year suspension. Add the other offenses, throw in the warrant, and for good measure a little criminal history and asking for forgiveness may not have the desired results.

Clean Up Your Act!

2010-03-04T11:41:00.003-06:00

Hey bothers and sisters in blue, or brown, or tan, or whatever fucking color your agencies wears.

It's no secret that we are already very unpopular with some elements of society. Just by virtue of the uniform we wear we are not only scrutinized by the public, but despised by some of it as well. The least we can do, on or off duty is to make an attempt to appear professional. With that being said....

I just spent a few days in Springfield Mo. My agency, saw it's way to letting me attend the Calibre Press Street Survival Seminar. A few hundred brothers and sisters were also in attendance. The quality of the Seminar was top notch! I can not say the same for many of the attendees.

I mean really people! When you are at home, off duty, doing whatever it is you do to amuse yourself , feel free to look like a giant bag of shit. But when you are representing your agency away from your jurisdiction, at least pretend that you give a damn about how look...and smell.

The hosts of this event were playing to a packed house. Every seat full, leaving me no place to relocate. What's the big deal you ask? For one thing, the three folks to my right, who were there together, had worse hygiene than most of the homeless people I have encountered. I'm talking body odor, greasy hair, and bad breath. Not to mention, attired completely inappropriately for such an event.

When did we stop caring about how we are perceived? When did administrators stop emphasizing the need to represent their agencies well?

I'm not just torqued about the three scrotes sitting next to me. Many in attendance were in jeans and t's. Maybe it's because I was raised old school and believe that when attending these functions, it is proper to appear professional.

I understand that many socially acceptable trends today would not not have flown a decade or two ago. Society is much more accommodating these days. Our profession, however, is one that should endeavor to maintain a higher standard of appearance regardless of what the rest of the country is doing.

Understanding How the Important Decisions Are Made

2010-02-20T09:54:00.005-06:00

I guess that as far as experience goes, my nearly three years in the law enforcement profession is just a drop in the bucket. And very recently, a senior member of the administration in my agency was kind enough to reveal how the tough decisions are made. But first, a little background so it will understood why learning this is significant to this post.

For the last three years, a course has been offered that I have expressed great interest in attending. It is never held locally, therefore my agency must flip the bill for anyone sent. A limited number of seats are available so there has to be a logical process for determining who will be allowed to attend.

I had always believed that deciding such things was done by somehow evaluating those who have requested the training in order to ascertain the most deserving candidates. Perhaps it was based on merit. You know....performance based. Or maybe decide by comparing annual evaluations. I also thought that it might be based on seniority.

Then, having considered all of the above possible methods, it was more disturbing than ever that I was consistently denied permission to attend. After all, I have been a strong performer. In fact, my last two evals have been remarkable. On the last, my supervisor even recommended this particular training for my professional development. My case load is above average for my agency, and all my cases are closed to the agencies standard and satisfaction. As far as seniority goes, I am senior on my shift, second only to the shift supervisor.

Why then, with the course being offered once again, and being among the first to request it was the slot given to a recent hire on the shift?

Apparently, deciding such things was far more complex a process than I had imagined. My curiosity peaked, and my natural drive to solve such perplexities lead me to one of the administrators burdened with tasks such as this. AND AT LONG LAST, THE ANSWER.

In a totally unexpected bipolar explosion, I was told that I had a 1 in 9 chance of being selected.

The names of all those interested were put in a hat, and unfortunately, my name was simply not one of the lucky ones drawn. The onslaught continued as I was informed that I will just have to accept the outcome. Live with the decision. The final words in this unilateral conversation suggested that I am damn lucky to have a job at all. I was then directed toward the nearest exit with more than just a little contempt.

So there it is. Not a total loss by any means. Although I will once again miss out on some good training, I am now acutely aware how the difficult decisions are made.

But really? Names pulled from a hat. I venture to think that we can do better. After all, there are some pretty damn good alternatives available to assist with these kinds of quandaries. I personally have always been fond of drawing straws. Even more revolutionary is the " pick a number method". Want something more contemporary? Why not call the Psychic Hotline, or pull out the trusty old Tarot cards. I hear they are uncannily accurate. If a fast answer is what you seek, nothing works better than the Magic 8 Ball. You can stick with the hat thing too, but damn people....we are living in the 21st century.

Officer Down, Remembering Brian Etheridge

2009-10-19T23:49:00.004-05:00

For a few weeks now I have been trying wrap my head around the death of Brian Etheridge.

Unless you are in Kansas, the name probably means nothing to you, which is really sad. Most of you are not aware of his death because it was of too little importance to attract the attention of major national news broadcasters. The story apparently lacked the news worthy appeal that a minority professor being lawfully arrested for obstruction has.

Brian Etheridge was a 26 year old Deputy in Sedgwick County, Wichita, Kansas.
On September 28th, while responding to a report of larceny, he was shot to death in an ambush set by the person that called to make the report. He had been a deputy for only 18 months, and leaves behind a young wife and child.

All across Kansas, law enforcement officers mourned his passing. The loss of any young life is tragic. The senseless killing of a young man dedicating his his life to preserving the peace and serving the community is nothing less than outrageous. For me and many of my law enforcement counterparts, it is also deeply personal.

I did not know Etheridge. Our jurisdictions are hours apart. But his passing has had a profound effect on me.

First, the manner in which he died serves as a reminder to me that police work is a dangerous job. There is no guarantee that a shift will end with me walking through my front door. It is a very real possibility that I will give my life doing this job.

I hope that his sacrifice, and the lessons that can be learned from it are not lost on the other officers and deputies who are aware of it. If nothing else is gained from Brian Etheridges untimely passing, every cop in Kansas should now be approaching every task before them with increased caution.

Let's face it. There is a great deal of repetition in many aspects of law enforcement. It is easy to become comfortable with anything if you do it enough. The way a house is approached while serving papers, or our position during a traffic stop. These can be potentially fatal scenarios that many cops now approach with complacency.

My way of remembering Brian Etheridge is simple. I think of him every single time I respond to call. I am more watchful during normal patrol. My approach to houses and vehicles is once again text book. My posture is defensive, but ready to shift to the offense without hesitation.

It is a very real possibility that in giving his life, Brian Etheridge has prolonged my own.

God Bless You Brian Etheridge. Thank you. Rest in Peace

Looking to the future

2009-08-28T18:11:00.003-05:00

First of all, I would like to say hello to my followers. I apologize for my lack of pro activity lately. And welcome to my new readers. Thanks for stopping by. It's always nice nice to be received well by some fresh names.

Some of you were already aware that I have been looking forward to moving to the southeast. I had actually set my hopes on a deputy position in Aiken South Carolina. Unfortunately that did not work out as I had hoped. The truth be told, the credit check portion of my background investigation was the reason I was dropped from consideration. BUMMER

It is sometimes ironic how things work out. The same day I received the bad news about the job, I also heard from the mortgage company through which I applied for pre approval. I was approved for loan adequate enough to get a nice house at a very reasonable price and manageable rate.
GO FIGURE?

I have heard many times, and from time to time have even spewed the words myself, that everything happens for a reason. In this particular case the reason is not immediately obvious.
I am also not discouraged in the least. I am still hopeful that a move is in the not so distant future. In the days and weeks to come I will be applying with various agencies in central South Carolina in hopes that my competence as a law enforcement officer outweighs my financial profile. In the mean time I am working at cleaning up some things in my credit report that should improve my score as well as make me a more appealing employment candidate.

While I cross my fingers and hope that good fortune befalls me, I will continue to serve my county as well I can. Sadly, that will probably be through yet another brutal mid western winter.

anonymous civilian

2009-07-28T10:25:00.001-05:00

Johnny Law wrote a good piece yesterday. I was not surprised that the post drew quite a few comments. What struck me as funny is that most comments had little to do with the actual topic. An anonymous comment about a label made a big splash.

I have nothing to hide. When I write something, I want everyone to know that it was I who did the writing. Likewise, when I comment on another Blogger's post, I have no issue identifying myself.

Is it just me, or is there something contradictory about an anonymous commenter complaining about having been improperly labeled?

There is no denying that the mysterious commenter could write. It is shameful however, that they lack the courage to identify themself.

Anon, the next time you feel compelled to criticize a cop on his own blog, you might consider one of the following as your new name; Chickenshit, Cophater, or my personal favorite; Douchebag.

KARMA. FACT or FICTION? You Decide

2009-07-20T15:47:00.006-05:00

Early last week, while responding to an emergency in the northern part of the county I had an untimely and unfortunate collision with a large owl. By the time I saw the bird take flight, it was too late to react. I held my breath and hoped against the odds that it would not come through the windshield. Then the impact! The sound was not unlike hitting a side of beef with a 2 by 4.
I immediately glanced toward the right side mirror, hoping to see where the unfortunate creature fell, only to discover that the mirror was no longer attached to the car. Visibility through the passenger side window was completely obstructed by a massive sneer of owl poo that actually spanned the length of my vehicle. I pulled to the right while informing the dispatcher that I was taking myself out of the response due to a minor accident involving an owl.

For the next few days I was subject to discovering Tootsie Pops and wisdom jokes everywhere I turned. My fellow deputies were relentless in demonstrating their unique brand of law enforcement humor.

Then, by coincidence, a few evenings ago, one of the would be comedians on the shift managed to
remove the light bar from the roof of his patrol car. Method of removal: Wild turkey.

A sad occurrence for the bird. But not just a little poetic where my associate is concerned.

Merely coincidence? You decide.

Something strange in the air?

2009-07-19T16:22:00.002-05:00

One fairly consistent thing about working in this county is that our call volume is pretty low. The local police department field many more calls than we do at the Sheriff's Department. At least this is usually the case. And because of the concentration of crazy people in the city limits, PD calls are generally more interesting, if not more entertaining.

My last few shifts, however, have been anything but dull. There must be something in the air that is bringing out the crazy in the county. Call volume is definitely up, and there has been no lack of opportunity to find folks doing stupid stuff. Lately, I haven't even had to go looking for cases, as they have come to me.

I've probably said this before, but it seems that re-hashing it wouldn't be a bad idea.
"If you have a suspended driver's, DON'T DRIVE!
"If you make the ignorant decision to drive while your license is suspended, DON'T SPEED!"
"If you make the even more ignorant decision to speed while driving with your suspended license, slow the f**k down when the nice deputy gives you a courtesy flash!"
Failure to follow this simple advice will more than likely result in a trip to the county Bed and Breakfast, an impounded vehicle, a meeting with an angry judge, and a significant loss of money.

I'll admit, that is not really uncommon. But this?
"If your life has become more than you can bare, and you absolutely must put an end to your misery, jumping from a bridge with 10 pound test fishing line around your neck is not the way to go." "It's going to break, and you are going to get wet!" Then you will visit with a underpaid, barely qualified counselor, that will more than likely say you are healthy enough to spend some quality time at the county Bed and Breakfast.

Anyone that has served in the law enforcement community long enough, will have run into this.
I am referring to the Driving while intoxicated, in possession of a fake license, non english speaking, sucking on the intoxilyzer hose, pissing all over the place, passing out in the testing room, requires blood draw , undocumented resident case.
That was my last adventure before the end of my shift this morning.
The admin portion of that gem was interrupted only once. Nothing serious. Just a naked man running through town , being pursued to by two angry women. Naturally, all PD units were too busy to respond to this one.

I can hardly wait to see what tonight has in store.

"We Have Liftoff"

2009-07-04T09:51:00.004-05:00

A few nights ago as my shift was beginning I was dispatched to a single vehicle accident with injuries. I responded code three and upon reaching the scene, local first responders were already attending to the injured party. It was a young woman with a very bloody head injury. Apparently she had been standing in the back of a moving pickup truck. Do you remember that lesson in your physics class about objects in motion and inertia? Obviously, she did not have that class or failed to take adequate notes. She was still standing as the vehicle made a fast sharp turn and inertia once again proved itself to be more than theory.

As other deputies arrived we set about securing the scene an identifying the involved parties. I just happen to find myself speaking to the driver of the vehicle, who, go figure, could not produce a license. The license that was suspended for driving under the influence. The license that was suspended for driving under the influence twice! Asking her if she had been drinking was just a formality as the odor of alcohol intoxicants was potent to say the least.

I already had enough to to arrest, but too strengthen the case I conducted the standardized field sobriety tests. She failed in grand fashion and needless to say, I put her in bracelets and transported her back to the office for additional testing. Other deputies remained at the scene to further investigate the "accident".

As I was wrapping up the intoxilyzer test(failed), I got a phone call from a deputy at the scene who relayed to me that a witness had come forward, stating that the driver had intended for the girl in the back of the truck to take a spill. While specific details of the incident can not be revealed here you can see how that information changed the dynamic of my case.

Did I mention that the driver had also threatened the witness and told her not to talk to cops about what really happened?

The case has been forwarded to the County attorney. In all I charged four felonies and two misdemeanors. I am anxious now to see if justice will be served appropriately. I will update you when this one is put to bed.

Combatting the dry spell

2009-06-28T07:48:00.002-05:00

I have not lost interest in writing. With that being said I’ll just note that life has thrown us (my family and I), a few curves.

As some of you may remember, my teen aged son became ill and was hospitalized and in need of specialized treatment.

I am pleased to report that he is doing much better now, and we expect him to recover fully over the course of the next year.

One thing we did not expect was having our insurance decline to pay for a large portion of the care our son received. The financial burden is overwhelming and we are looking into alternative means of taking care of those obligations. Legal representation for litigation is not out of the question.

In April we traveled to Augusta Georgia to spend some time with my folks. It was a great trip and we had a hard time making ourselves come home. The atmosphere, being close to family and the incredible weather are all factors in a surprise decision to move down there permanently.

In the very near future I will be applying for work close by my folks, and with a little luck, will be moving right into a good job.

As far as writing goes, well the ideas for material are constantly swirling around in my head. Mustering the motivation to actually sit down and write is the problem. Following the ordeal with my son’s illness, along with the sudden drop of adrenaline following a stressful situation has left me with a serious lack of ambition.

Work is still going extremely well. I can’t think of another job I would enjoy as much as police work. There is always something new to learn, and every time I think I think that I have seen it all, a stupid person proves me wrong.

Crime is job security, and even in a small Midwestern community there is enough to secure my job for a long time to come. I also imagine that in the community I plan to move to that the situation will be the same. Crime knows no borders, and stupid people are a fact of life no matter where you go.

Hopefully this post marks the end of my dry spell. I plan to be here again soon to inform, if not entertain.
I am sorry it has been so long.

It's been a long week.

2009-03-25T18:37:00.003-05:00

Today is day number nine of our adventure in medicine. Unfortunately, our son has shown no real sign of improving. This afternoon they finally started a treatment. It is commonly used used to treat Giullain-Barre Syndrome. No one is certain that this is what we are dealing with, but many of the tests and his symptoms are pointing in that direction. The treatment will take three to five days and hopefully by the the end of the last treatment we will know if it is helping. I will try to update again soon.
We are at a wonderful hospital and he is receiving the best care possible.
For those offering support and encouragement, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I will try to update again soon.

Sick Child

2009-03-19T20:10:00.002-05:00

My lack of writing is not due to a lack of interest.
A few weeks agao my 15 year old son took ill and has since developed a some unusual symptoms that required his being transfered to KU Medical center in Kansas City. Hopefully the doctors here will be able to figure out what is going on so that the recovery process can begin.

Thanks, It's been a pleasure

2009-03-01T10:15:00.004-06:00

Dear Mr. Speeder,

Thank you sir.

Thank you for reminding me why this job not ideal for just anyone, and only people with uncommon self control make it a career. After we concluded our business, I left with the feeling that you had actually helped me to become a better officer. You tested me, my patience, and my tolerance, and I passed with flying colors.

Thank you for pointing out to me that my income is less than half of what you earn, and that your tax dollars pay my salary. I wonder if it's possible that some of my tax dollars also help pay my salary. Hmm.

I am sorry that the speed limit signs posted on our states highways are not bigger, or posted closer together. I will suggest to the Department of Transportation that we make them larger, and perhaps even increase their visibility for you, by framing them in flashing neon.

It just amazes me that the other 98.7 percent of drivers detect them so easily.

Thank you for honing your wit at my expense. I am always pleased when a fine citizen like yourself mocks me in front of his wife and kids. By doing so, you pass on your dim view of the law enforcement profession to the next generation. Perhaps they too, will believe that the law does not apply to them. We may even meet under similar circumstances in the distant future. With any luck, they will still live at home when it happens, so that you can pay for the example you have set for them. Hmm.

Thanks for implying that I was having fun. Yes, I get a great deal of pleasure out of standing along side a busy stretch of highway, next to your car, absorbing your verbal abuse. The fact that it was only 14 degrees outside and the wind chill made my face feel like plaster added a little something extra special. I should consider myself lucky for having the opportunity to answer all of your condescending questions as well. If not for that I may have had to return to the misery of my cars warm interior way too soon.

Lastly, I would like to say thanks for pointing out that you are an attorney, and very familiar with the laws of our state. It should make our next meeting, at the district court, all the more interesting. You can show up with a vast knowledge of the law you broke. I will be there only with my testimony, and the digital (audio/visual ) recording of our entire exchange. Win or lose, I will be grateful for the overtime I get paid for court time,(your tax dollars at work) while you on the other hand, will have to take a day off from your high paying job to drive two hours each way for a situation that could have been avoided with simple compliance with the law. Hmmm.

Don't assume that we are one big happy family

2009-02-27T17:37:00.003-06:00

Thursday night I decided to start my shift running radar at one of favorite spots. It a great location because oncoming traffic is coming out of a downhill curve. At the bottom, where the road straightens, some folks really get on it. The speed limit is 55 mph there and does not change to 65 mph for a half mile.
So there I sit, waiting patiently for my first customer. Light traffic comes and goes, teasing but not delivering. About the time I decide to move on, " MOTHER OF GOD!" A fast mover comes tear-assing down the hill. Radar locked, lights flashing, siren wailing, I swing around prepared to engage warp drive. Damn! As soon as I make 180 degrees the offender vehicle has pulled over.
After calling in the tag I make contact with the driver,who upon seeing me said, " I was hoping you were Deputy ______. This was the wrong thing to say for a couple of reasons, not the least of which is that Deputy ______ is a colossal turd. I could write volumes about about said deputy's shortcomings as a cop and as a human being, but for the purpose of this post, it will suffice to say that we are not friends. Not even close.
Mr. Speeder has has assumed however, that because we wear the same uniform, that Deputy Shitbird and I are buddies. In the brief initial exchange between myself and Speedy, he dropped my co-worker's name about a dozen times and appeared very confident that due to his friendship with Shitbird, he would not be assessed a penalty. WRONG!
First of all his speed was grotesquely in excess of the posted limit. Second. His eagerness to use his association with an officer in my agency to get out of a ticket, coupled with the assumption that I would forsake my professional ethics, pretty much sealed his fate.
Because I am fair, I will give Mr. Speeder credit for one thing. At the end of our encounter his expression was that of a man who suddenly realized the error he had made. It was as if a booming voice in his head shouted, " OH SHIT! This dude does not like Deputy Shitbird! Note to self: Just because they wear the same uniform does not mean that they are all one big happy family."
Using a great deal of will power, I suppressed the urge to smile, and even allowed Mr Speeder a moment to fully digest the situation before having him sign the citation. I then thanked him for wearing his seat belt and asked him to drive safely. For some strange reason before pulling away, he did not ask me to say hello Deputy Shitbird. Hmm.

Priceless

2009-02-27T08:29:00.003-06:00

This was fowarded to me recently. Please tell your American friends about it. I think it really puts our current state of affairs into perspective.

Divorce Proposal
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile; slate it up to irreconcilable differences, and go on our own ways.
Here is a model dissolution agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.
After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like re distributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan Hockey Moms, greedy CEO's, and Rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood . You can make nice with Iran , Palestine , and France , and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way of life are under assault, we'll provide them job security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru Station Wagon you can find. You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing Doctors (that is practicing, Howard Dean) who will follow you to your turf.

We'll continue to
believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach The World To Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics, and you can give trickle up poverty its best shot. Since it often so offends you we'll keep our History, our Name, and our Flag. Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other likeminded patriots, and if you do not agree just hit delete and hang on.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR on who will need whose help in 15 years. Sincerely, John J. Wall
Law Student and an American P.S. Please take Barbra Streisand.

Who told?

2009-02-25T23:30:00.002-06:00

Someone must have put out the word that I am an asshole. My followership dropped by three today.
I took a good look at my site to find an explanation, but nothing was too offensive. For the most part it's all PG-13. It is possible though that my alternate blog may have offended someone and by so doing tainted my sterling reputation here.
OOPS.

Back to work, and loving it.

2009-02-24T18:24:00.003-06:00

I returned to work Saturday night after a week long break. Taking a little time off now and then is definitely a good thing, as everyone needs to decompress from time to time. The rest was welcome, and other than a little writing I accomplished nothing.
Getting back though feels great. I love my job and a week away from it was really too long.
Saturday night, five minutes after punching the clock, I was working a two vehicle head on collision involving an Escalade and a Escort station wagon. The cadi won hands down. There were only minor injuries, and only one of those required immediately medical attention. Amazing really, taking into consideration that both vehicles were mangled.
That first call set the tone for the night. I worked two more accidents after that, one of which was roll over. A Ford Explorer driven by a 14 year old boy! Four other teens in the truck with him but fortunately only one minor injury. Some really angry moms and dads arrived at that one and I got the sense that a few of those kids will suffer far more at home than they did in the crash.
The remainder of the night was pretty routine. A few citations and a few motorist assists. I conducted the usual business checks as well as a few house checks. Over all it was not a bad night. It never got so busy as become stressful, but there was enough to do that the night went by quickly.
Sunday night was considerably slower. I managed a few citations before midnight, but after that it was patrol without incident. Not uncommon for a cold Sunday night in the county. As slow as business was, it was still better than sitting around the house doing nothing.
Last night was completely uneventful. I used the lack of activity to my advantage, familiarizing myself with roads I don't frequently have cause to be on. The county has about 625 square mile of roads and highways and after a few years as a deputy I am still unfamiliar with some areas.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get around to seeing every road.
In any case, it was really nice to be back out on the road.

Now, a few things about the site. First, since Valentine's day I kind of hit a dry spell. That is in part due to a motivation problem. I have been doing a little writing but have been targeting it toward Associated Content (AC). I will make an effort to be more proactive here. It shouldn't be hard now that I am back to work.
Next, in spite of my lack of activity, I have managed to gain a few new followers. To the new folks I just want to say thanks for reading. If you are interested in some of my other musings, I have an alternate blog at www.smokincamels.blogspot.com.
I have also recently had a few articles published at Associated Content. You can read those at http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/440637/strangely_martin.html

Just Blue...No pun intended

2009-02-18T11:03:00.002-06:00

I have several points of interest swirling around in my head that I could be writing about. Unfortunately, I have been struck by a serious lack of motivation. More correctly, my mood stinks and everything in my head is a reflection of that poor attitude. Lack of activity is probably to blame. I took a few days off for Valentines day/wifes birthday. Conveniently timed, as I was nearing the use it or lose it point in my vacation earnings. I had planned to knock out some chores/projects with the time off, but am finding it much easier to do nothing at all. The more nothing I do, the less I feel like doing. I am not scheduled to return to work until Saturday night. Between now and then I plan to accomplish alot more nothing. Hopefully, when Saturday rolls around I will be out of this funk and ready to once again be a productive part of society.
This is going to sound pathetic to some of you, but I hate taking time off. I sometimes bitch about work, but when I'm not there, I miss it like crazy. Being a cop fills me with a sense of purpose, provides no shortage of entertainment, and allows me to utilize my skill set productively.

Enough said...more soon.

The New Guy says...

2009-02-16T13:00:00.004-06:00

I am not a writer, nor do I claim to have a lot of original ideas. When an idea comes to me or when something happens in my work or my life in general that I feel is worthy of a post, I simply start typing. I explain things as best I can with my elementary vocabulary and limited life experience, and hope that I have communicated effectively enough to convey my thoughts, my message, or my feelings to those who may drop in for a read.
Being a novice blogger and all, I'm sure there are some points of etiquette that I am yet 100% familiar with. I may do or say things from time to time that not everyone agrees with and I guess that is just a norm in this type of forum. There may also be times when I publish a post on a topic that has already been addressed by another writer. I think it would be safe to say that with so many of us in the same field, all sharing our perspectives on policing, and explaining our individual roles in the law enforcement community, that eventually one or more of us will touch on the same topic.
Last week I published a post about how I get ready for a shift. My intent was simply to share my routine with other officers and readers, and to give folks outside the LEO profession an idea of what is involved in my preparation. Prior to doing so, I neglected to read the archives of every other LEO blogger on the Internet. Shame on me. For apparently, my choice of topics for that particular post had already been covered by another writer. I was informed of this in a sarcastic post script to a comment I received following my publication. Had I known this earlier, or had I read the related post, chances are I would have still published my own. I may have even incorporated a part of his routine into my own, as I am always open to new ideas, and eager to learn from those with wisdom and experience. It was never my intention to poach material from another. At this point I still have not read the material in question, and actually have no interest in doing so now, and if I have offended that writer, I sincerely apologize.
I guess now I will just have to learn to live with my own lack of originality, and hope that any future posts are unlike any material previously posted by another. Phew! That could be a challenge. I am pretty sure that if I take the time to research a little I will find posts on topics such as radio traffic, car chases, arresting criminals, stupid people, domestic violence, dispatchers, supervisors, rookies, doughnuts, dumb asses, children, wives, ridealongs, drugs, court cases, politics, finances, etc, etc...I may even write about a few of them as they become pertinent to me as an individual. After all, this is a cop blog.
My tips for holiday crafts and gardening hints can be found elsewhere!

Lock and Load People!

2009-02-12T16:31:00.004-06:00

Subject: FW: MONTEBELLO HIGH SCHOOL IN CALIFORNIA

This was forwared to me by a co-worker and I immediately posted it on my other blog.

After some thought I decided to share it with you all here.

You will not see this heart-stopping photo on the fron tpage of the NY Times or on the lead story of the major news networks.The protestors put up the Mexican flag over the American flag flying upside down at Montebello High School in California .

I predict this stunt will be the nail in the coffin of any guest-worker/amnesty plan on the table in Washington . The image ofthe American flag subsumed to another and turned upside down on American soil is already spreading on Internet forums and via e-mail.

Pass this along to every American citizen in your address books and to every representative in the state and federal government. If you choose to remain uninvolved, do not be amazed when you no longer have a nation to call your own nor anything you have worked for left since it will be "redistributed" to the activists while you are so peacefully staying out of the "fray".

Check history, it is full of nations/empires that disappeared when its citizens no longer held their core beliefs and values. One person CAN make a difference.One plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one....... .. The battle for our secure borders and immigration laws that actually mean something, however, hasn't even begun. If this ticks YOU off...PASS IT ON!

Getting Ready for the Road

2009-02-12T09:55:00.003-06:00

It's back to the grind tonight after two nights off and I have a laundry list of things to do before I hit the road. That list made me think..."why not share your pre-patrol routine with readers".

Maybe I'll also get some good feedback from veterans of the trade.

In the hours before my shift begins, my mind starts racing through the mental checklist of required items. I generally take my time preparing a uniform, taking care to ensure that my appearance is professional. I feel it is important to represent my agency and the LEO profession well.

I also ensure that my equipment is up to the task. Everything should fit comfortably but efficiently in accordance with my latest weight gain or loss, which ever it may be at the time.

More importantly, everything is perfect working order. Flashlight is bright, cuffs are positioned properly on my belt and operating smoothly. I've tested Mr. Sparkles (my taser), and my both my duty pistol and backup are clean, loaded and chambered. Spare mags are full and positioned to optimize reloading. And my radio sends and receives. All set, NOT QUITE.

Out in the car, equipment, fluid levels, tires, cleanliness, etc. Now we're getting there.

I have confidence in my tools. It's going to work when I need it.

While all of this going on, my mind is still racing around. It's playing the "what if game". Playing out scenarios, making me mentally play out how I will deal with one situation or another.

In the news almost every day there are stories about cops. Some are stories of success, are are tragic, and some are just plain sad. All of them make me think about how I would deal with those same situations.

Being mentally prepared is your most important asset on the road, and playing the what if game is one of the ways I get ready. The end result, or winning the game, means I made it home safely twelve hours later. Still breathing. That's how I define a successful shift.

Now it's time to practice what I preach.

More soon!

You get what you dress for. Don't act so shocked

2009-02-09T14:31:00.004-06:00

So last night, following an armed robbery in town, the subsequent investigation led a PD officer to follow a vehicle with occupants matching the description of the suspects. The car pulled into a driveway at a residence in an economically challenged neighborhood. The officer had activated any emergency equipment, but merely parked on the street adjacent to the driveway. As it stopped, the front seat passengers bailed and took off on foot. Adequate backup had not yet arrived so no foot pursuit ensued. Dispatch was given a descriptor and a direction of travel.

The driver also exited the vehicle but made a beeline for the officer's car, hands in his pockets, hoody pulled over his head, and spewing all of the classic police harassment cliches. Officer safety measures were exercised, and with hands now clearly exposed, the officer attempted to ask a few questions about the fleeing passenger and their location during the time of the incident.

The citizen, clad in traditional gang banger regal, assured the officer that he would be filing a complaint about this unfair treatment and demanded a badge number. He went on to say that he is constantly being followed, profiled, and harassed by the cops. Never mind that this citizen has a criminal record longer than a Charmin Double Roll,that he has gone out of way to look like a thug, and has just come from a location a which a violent crime has been committed. Never mind that a passenger also similar in appearance to the suspects, fled from his vehicle. In this citizen's mind, there could be no reason why he should be suspected of any wrong doing.

The verbal waltz between the two continued for a time. After dispatch informed the officer that the citizen did not have any warrants, he was told that he was free to go.

For a time, after witnessing the encounter, I was a confused about why a more thorough investigation of the citizen and his car was not undertaken, as in my opinion there was more than enough to establish PC. However, that was the decision of the officer on the scene and his agency. It is not my place to criticize them.

The other thing, not that it confused me, but rather amused me, was that the citizen was so offended by the encounter. " The nerve of the police to think he was anything other than a choir boy on his way home from volunteering at the local nursing home."

At the risk of offending

2009-02-06T17:05:00.002-06:00

My brother recently sent me an email with the subject: "Spanish words of the day".
I admit to being tickled by a few of these, and at the risk of offending some readers, have decided to share them. If I have inadvertently crossed a line, I am truly sorry. You may also refer to the disclaimer at the right side of your screen.

And without further ado;

CHEESE - Maria likes me, but cheese fat.

MUSHROOM - When all my family get in the car, there's not mushroom.

SHOULDER - My fren wanted to become a citizen but she didn't know how to read so I shoulder.

TEXAS - My fren always Texas me when I'm not home wondering where I'm at!

HERPES - Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes.

JULY - Ju told me ju were going to tha store and July to me! Julyer!

RECTUM - I had two cars but my wife rectum!

CHICKEN - I was going to go to the store with my wife but chicken go herself.

WHEELCHAIR - We only have one enchilada left, but don't worry, wheelchair.

CHICKEN WING - My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.

HARASSMENT - My wife caught me in bed with another women and I told her honey harassment nothing to me.

BISHOP - My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop.

BODY WASH - I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids.

BRIEF - Maria fart in my car and it stinkie so bad I could not brief.

"That's the County for ya"

2009-02-06T11:40:00.005-06:00

Baby Jax

I was going to post a simple comment on a recent post by "Married to the Law" about calls her husband takes a cop in as small community. I can't help but be amused. I am a deputy in a County with about 625 square miles of country roads. There are times when backup is more than 30 minutes away, and that's only if they are not busy with an emergency of their own. I have received many of the calls she mentioned, and yes, it can be frustrating as hell. I can't tell you how many times I have gone out in search of a loose cow, or horse. Upon locating the beast, you also have to find out how they escaped. Often, the owner of the these animals can't be contacted and it up to yours truly to get them back into the pasture. Sometimes it's easy, and others it is almost impossible. There are ordinances that address loose livestock and fence maintenance, but they are not enforced. I have tried, but our County Attorney throws these cases out every single time. Apparently, he has never collided with an 1800 lb Black Angus on a dark county road. I've worked those accidents, and it's not a good deal for the car or the cow. Enough said about that.

Another personal favorite is the viscous dog call. It is an unwritten rule in the law enforcement community, that every stray dog is a Pitt Bull or a Rottweiler.

I once was dispatched to a house in a remote part of the county where the caller reported two viscous Rottweilers had chased him into his house and had him trapped inside. The dispatcher made it sound like the guy had barely escaped being mauled to death.

I arrived on the scene ready to take whatever action necessary. I pulled into the driveway, informed dispatch that had arrived, and visually scanned the entire area before getting out of my car. I approached the front of the cautiously, noting the man inside peering out of the narrow pane in the door. He was frantically pointing down at the two dogs sleeping on the porch. Neither animal so much as raised their head as I walked onto the porch.

I squatted beside the two, petting them each. The dogs once roused from slumber, greeted me affectionately. I asked the two if they would like to go for ride with me. Both beasts then followed me back to car. The first, a filthy young Border Collie, actually waited by the door of the car to make sure his friend, the geriatric, three legged lab, was able to get in the back seat. I had to help him up, as he was too physically weak to climb in on his own. Once in the back seat, both immediately laid down.

I returned to the house and made contact with Jethro, who recounted the traumatic experience for me. After collecting the required information, I took the dogs to the shelter, where they were given food, water and a place to sleep.

The incident inspired me to start carrying a poster of dog breeds with me. " You see ma'am, this here in the picture is a Pitt Bull, but what you have in your driveway is this one over here. It's called a Beagle. Do you have any questions about the difference?"

These calls are common in rural law enforcement, but I would rather deal with these as opposed to cleaning up a meth lab any day. On occasion, I get an adrenaline pumping, catch the bad guy case, but it's the exception, not the rule. Personally, I like it better this way. It makes it easier to envision myself far into the future. Much older, much slower to be certain, but kissing Mrs. 10-8 at the end of every shift.

Press Hard, there are five copies

2009-02-05T14:13:00.004-06:00

The last few nights have been a few of the slowest I can remember since getting hired by the department. I was only dispatched to one call, and that was once again in our own jail. A story for another time. I need to wait and see what the administrators will decide, and whether the County attorney wants to get involved. The time waited will also allow me to come up with names to protect the ignorant.

All the county had to offer me for the last two nights is a handful of speeding citations and a few house checks. Fortunately, the occasional recipient of a speeding ticket will do or say something memorable, if not blog worthy.

Last night, one such individual, cruising along at 20 mph over the (very clearly posted limit) upon being stopped, strategically placed a card on the center console identifying him as a supporter of the Highway Patrol. He was very polite as I was explaining the reason for the stop, and readily provided his license and insurance. He went on to say that he just wasn't paying attention and knew he was wrong. He even apologized for his actions. Although this kind of banter is not uncommon in these situations, I doubted his sincerity. Call it a hunch, but I smelled BS. My personal standard will not allow me to give a warning for a speeding infraction that big, so back to my patrol car I went, and a citation I wrote. Once back at the man's window (with clipboard in hand) I started explaining the citation but was interrupted by the question, " Does this fill your ******* quota for the night?" Feeling a little pleased with myself for reading this guy correctly, I once again started explaining the citation as required by state law. During the length of the explanation the man continued to try interrupting me with comments about speed traps, the politicians he knows personally, the fact that there are real criminals out there and all I can do is harass hard working, honest tax payers.

Eventually I finished and asked the man to sign the citation. He took the clipboard from my hand, made a show of reading the entire ticket carefully, and asked what he needed to do to fight the ticket. I explained that he would have to appear in court on the date I put on the citation to plead his case. He then asked if I would be there. I explained that once he plead not guilty, the judge would set a trial date, at which time I would be there to testify on my own behalf and that of the prosecutor.

The man was then outraged that he would have to take time off work twice, and drive back and forth to this ****** little town twice over this ridiculous BS. I said that I understood what an inconvenience it was , but that was the way the system was set up. With a deep and exaggerated sigh, he asked where to sign. With my flashlight, I indicated the x at the bottom of the citation and added, "Press hard. There are five copies."

At the conclusion of the stop, I thanked the man for wearing his seat belt and asked him to drive safely on his way home.

I backed away from the man's car as he was pulling away and as I was entering my own vehicle I looked down the road at the departing car. It was difficult to tell at that distance, but as the car passed beneath a street light I am fairly certain that the driver was waving goodbye.

Here's your Sign

2009-02-01T10:08:00.005-06:00

A few months ago my shift supervisor and I were dispatched to take a report of criminal damage to property. The location was at an intersection of a two lane state highway and a dirt country road. Upon arrival we were met by a cattle farmer who had been waiting for us in his truck.

After introductions the farmer expressed how upset he was about the vandals, and how they have no respect for decent, hard working folks. Before he got on a roll, my sergeant asked the man what had been damaged.

With a frustrated hand gesture, the farmer pointed to a large sign on the corner. At the top of the sign was a big red arrow pointing the way to his farm. Under the arrow, the sign read " 100% Organic, Grain fed BLACK ANGUS BEEF ". At first I was puzzled, as the damage was not immediately apparent to me. My sergeant on the other hand, noticed it right away and was having a hard time keeping the grin off of his face.

The perpetrator in this heinous crime had used masking tape to cover the letter G in Angus.

After taking a moment to regain my composure I walked over to the sign and removed the tape, thus restoring the sign to it's undamaged condition.

An information report was filed on the case, and thus far no further incidents have occurred.

The New Shift

2009-01-31T10:50:00.002-06:00

So far, so good.
Just finished my second night on the new shift and it wasn't completely awful. Still not where I want to be but I will manage.
The first night was totally uneventful, which is not uncommon in the county. That is one of the appeals of being a deputy here. It has it's moments of adrenaline pumping excitement, but also a good deal of time to just meet and visit with the folks.
Last night was there were a few things going on, but nothing too gripping.
Of course, I wrote some citations, as traffic enforcement is the meat and potato's of my existence.
The I got to break up a party consisting of nothing but minors. I really love watching the expressions on their faces as I make them pour onto the ground the beer they all pooled money together in order to have some idiot buy for them. YEAH BABY! GO ME!
And there was no way I was going to arrest twenty teens and spend the entire night booking them all into the juvenile detention center. Instead, I had them call mommy and daddy. I then waited for the parents to arrive in order to insure that all kids got a safe ride home. Oh, and to watch the happy reunions as well.
Then the entire shift( all three of us ) responded to an alcohol induced domestic which turned out to be verbal in nature ad was settled with a stern warning. ( Knock this crap off! )
Next was the stray Pitt bull that wandered into ( of all places ) the vehicle bay of my very own Sheriff's Dept.! Fortunately he was a friendly fella and was eager for a ride in my patrol car.
Once he was housed in the animal shelter I returned to patrolling the county roads.
The shift ended with one last speeding ticket.

One last note before I go to bed.

If you have been reading the blog, you may have noticed the hit counter on the right side of the page. The numbers there are telling you that I have not yet become wildly popular. I don't expect to ever be at the top of all searches, but come on! Show a bother some love. Tell your friends about the site and help me become famous. I deserve it, damn it!

Seacrest, out!

Resistance is Futile, You will be Abloggilated

2009-01-29T13:57:00.006-06:00

( My New Addiction )

I'm not sure who to blame, but it's likely that I have become a blog addict. I just can't seem to break it's hold on me. Just what I needed was another reason for a lack of communication with my wife.

I guess this is where I say Thanks to all you blogging cops. Were it not for you, I would not be behaving like a junky looking for my next fix. The sad truth is I now find myself surfing one cop blog after another, sometimes into the early morning hours.

I make no excuses for my actions and I know that this kind of behavior is shameful. I just can't help it!

Perhaps the blame I placed on my fellow law enforcement officers is misdirected. After all, it's the criminals who actually provide the material contained in your blogs. Junkies, whores, rapists, batterers, dealers, hippies, Nazi's, commies, and democrats. Inmates, parolees, juvenile offenders, the parents that defend their juvenile offenders, speeders, drunk drivers, drug traffickers, etc, and all the people that allow themselves to be victimized by all of the above. Thanks. It is because of you that I now sit at my computer consuming far more than the daily recommended allowance.

You see, the average criminal is just not very smart. I am not mad at them for this. If they were smart, it would jeopardize my job security. Not to mention the fact that it would make my job void of the comic relief I have come to look forward to. I don't think the average citizen realizes

just how entertaining stupid people can be.

Therein lies the real problem. My addiction starts at work. It is the possibility,no, the probability that I will witness an act of notable stupidity that compels me to continue this kind of work. Someone in my community is going to provide me with not only a case, but a story to share and a laugh.

What's this got to do with my problem? Everything damn it!

I have only been a cop for a short time, and find no shortage of entertainment value in this profession. At first I just wanted to share some of my thoughts and experiences with a few friends and my family. I figured that a blog would be a fun format in which to put it all together. Then I thought to myself..."Self, if you have only been in this work for a short time and already have all this stuff to share, imagine what you might find in blogs written by veteran cops." So it began.

The ideas for my next post running through my head at all hours. Wondering if any of my favorite bloggers have added anything new. Looking for new blogs to follow. I fear that this will only get worse and I will be pulled deeper and deeper into the blogosphere.

In closing I would just like to say... Help me please. If anyone has the url for bloganon, I beseach you, paste it in your comment. Before it is too late.

A CALL FROM THE BOSS

2009-01-27T15:10:00.004-06:00

My Captain called me yesterday. The call went something like this:

Me: Hello

Him: Good morning Deputy...

Me: How can I help you sir?

Him: I am being forced to move you to another shift.

Me: Did my supervisor request that I be moved?

Him: No. The change has come about because another deputy in the department needs to be retrained. The administration feels that the senior officers on your shift are best qualified to provide that training. You will be moving to his shift.

Me: I see sir.

Him: This is in no way a reflection of your performance, and we hope that the change is only temporary. The change takes effect this Thursday night.

Me: Will that be all sir?

Him: Yes Deputy, have a nice day...click

So there we have it. What can I say? This is just one of those circumstances where I have to suck it up and move forward. I can't say that I am happy about the change, but I am trying to look at it as an opportunity to learn from another supervisor. I just hope that I am not treated like a day one rookie on the new shift.

I am also trying to convince myself that everything happens for a reason. Even if that reason isn't immediately recognizable.

On a positive note, I am still on the night shift. In the short time I have been at the agency, I have worked both days and nights. I much prefer the latter.

The Only Cop in the Trailer Park

2009-01-26T15:25:00.002-06:00

Let’s just get this out there up front.
I happen to like my trailer. And my neighbors absolutely love having a cop living so close. It gives them the opportunity to practice discretion, with an emphasis on only conducting illegal activities when my patrol car is not parked in the driveway. Who said dirt bags couldn't’t be considerate?

Like the guy that lives behind me. He is so nice that he shares his entertainment with the entire neighborhood. How fortunate is it that we all happen to like the same music? Another cool thing about him is how he includes the neighborhood in family discussions. Of course they are usually one sided and involve belittling his wife publicly. Still, I'm sure he feels that he is just sharing his unique idea of domestic tranquility with the rest of us. Showing us how a real man takes charge of a household.

I would be remiss if I did not mention the shade tree mechanic down the street.
Normally, one would have to pay good money for track side seating and the deafening roar usually associated with a NASCAR event. Thanks to this guy I never have to tune into the speed network. Not to mention the collection of rustic autos decorating his yard.

And let's not forget about the meth addict next door. Without going into details, I will just say that there is no shortage of entertainment value there.

Even if I weren't broke and constantly in debt. If I had enough money to move out, I would miss this place. The smell on garbage day. The distant sound of a domestic in progress. The ringing of far off gunshots. The rush of adrenaline going from the front door to the car.

It's also good for a laugh or two when a parolee knocks on the door only to discover that his dealer doesn't live here anymore.

You simply can't find these things in the burbs.

Besides, what would the girl down the street do if I were not here? Would tell her to call 911 when her baby's daddy locks her out of the house?

Although I have little authority within the city limits, it's apparent that I am needed here.

Did I mention that I also find fliers from several congregations on my door? I must look like I need saving.

My fellow officers sometimes ask me why I live in such a place. As if I am loaded, and have chosen this spot out of some eccentricity. Or maybe it's because I just want to have a reason to sleep with a loaded gun.

The truth be told, I am just at the mercy of circumstances beyond my control. Eventually things will improve and I will move. Until then I will just just keep my head up, my door locked, and my gun loaded.

Officer Safety. This is why I keep a gun close

2009-01-26T00:17:00.004-06:00

This video was forwarded to me by a co-worker. It's one of those things that you hope Will never happen to you, but this just goes to show that it could.

Before becoming a patrol deputy I worked in the county detention center. I treated all the inmates housed there fairly and with respect. Whether they deserved it or not. But some guests there, no matter how decently I treated them, issued threat after threat. Much of this I understood, was done to maintain street credit and that there was little chance that once released anyone would actually carry through with their threat.

I am however, a realist. I know the possibility exists. It is for that reason I keep a loaded handgun within easy reach in my home and why I won't even go to the library unless I'm carrying.

Some of you may have already seen this, but if you have not, watch it and pass it on to fellow officers.

COP WORDS

2009-01-24T14:47:00.005-06:00

Let's assume for the moment, that we think of ourselves as good cops. What would be a few words we would use in a description of ourselves. "Integrity" would have to be pretty high on the list. After all, we represent the law, and because of that, people should be able to trust us. The public we serve should feel that information they share with us in confidence is protected and that we can be also help them resolve issues without exposing them to unnecessary embarrassment. Like it or not, properly handling confidential information is a part of this job.

Another good one would be "Ethical". I hate to be the one to break it to you, but as law enforcement officers you are not entitled to write your own definition for this. In a nut shell, every day, all day, we should strive to " do the right thing". Whether we are on or off duty, in view of the public or behind closed doors. Ethics should be the same for each and every one of us. It's not a piece of equipment that you put on as you head off to work. Consistent ethical behavior is a rare quality in people, but as police officers, it is expected. Your badge without ethics is nothing more than a piece costume jewelry.

I recently heard a story about a guy who was forced to resign due to conduct that was not becoming of a Deputy Sheriff. Because he was not fired, his certification remained valid and he was able to get hired on at another agency. Apparently, being forced to move did not reform the man. He continued to live unethically, at least in his private life. Eventually, his behavior was brought to the attention of the administrators of his department. Once again he was given the option of resigning or getting fired. He chose to resign and almost immediately applied for a position with the Sheriff's Department again. He even went as far as to ask some of the deputies to give him a recommendation. When confronted by one such deputy about his unethical choices, the man proudly stated that he only behaved that way off duty!

Courage, both physical and moral is a must have. Most of us drawn to police work are not short on the physical kind. Sadly, the longer I do this work, the more I see that not nearly as many possess the moral courage our code requires. The internal strength to make ethical choices, difficult decisions, or to put ourselves in harms way for the sake of someone else's safety. I am seeing more frequently than I would have ever imagined, officers among us that are unwilling to execute any actions they think might get them hurt. I understand that none of us are perfect, but shouldn't we all be trying our best? It's hard to Protect and Serve without having some intestinal fortitude.

Selfless service might be words used to describe our jobs. The average paycheck at my agency is evidence that in this area, you didn't become a cop to get rich. We work long hours, sometimes in awful weather, frequently dealing with the worst people in society. We put our lives in danger each time we get behind the wheel, or approach a vehicle, each time we knock on a door. In some places it is a hazard just wearing the uniform. All of this should have been understood before making this a career. Our willingness to accept risk in the line of duty does not elevate us above the citizens we are sworn to serve. It does not earn us special privileges, and it most certainly does not give us the right to take advantage of those influenced by the authority we have.

Maybe some of you are reading this and thinking that the author is a "holier than thou" type, that just doesn't understand the pressures of police work. I am not short on life experience, and have done dangerous work in the most terrible of places. I have encountered death, destruction, and mayhem of incredible scope. Through it all, I managed hang on to my principals. The lessons taught by my parents and my basic belief that it is best to just "do the right thing" .

Now I am a sworn law enforcement officer. The oath I swore and the code I was given are more than just words to me. They serve as a guide and a reminder that I am not doing this for me. I am doing it for my community, the citizens living here, my family and their friends. I am doing it because I still have a strong desire to serve. Not on a grand scale this time, content i my small piece of the mid west.

Like every other job I have held, I intend to be good at this one. I will remember all of my "Cop Words" and do my best to apply them to my daily life, both in and out of uniform. I hope you all do the same.

More ranting coming to a blog near you!